Quarks’ “A Better Me - The Glam Up of Trans Women” makeup class not only teaches make-up and skincare technique, it is also a self-discovering journey. To transwomen, what is an acceptable version of one-self?

Between the fine line of acceptance and rejection, the breakthrough is more than sex assigned at birth, but the anxiety and obstacles that come along during gender transition.

A Better Me

“What is the makeup list for beginners?” Google search can give you millions of responses at a click, that’s also how most people learn to apply makeup. To transwomen who are in gender transition, it is not easy. The founder of Quarks, Liam(he/they) said, “Mustering the courage to approach a beauty boutique, expressing their own needs is never an easy task.”

As a transman, Liam has been through the struggle of a transgender youth: how to come out to his family and school? Besides the information of gender affirming care and gender affirming surgery, seeking community support is also crucial and brings comfort to them, even though it might not be face-to-face interaction. “When transgender encounters varying challenges from society, the older generation has the tendency to hide themselves and take it as it comes, while the younger generation will be more comfortable in their own skin.”

When Liam shared his own gender transition experience online, he met a few of his own kind. Slowly through chatroom groups, they also found like-minded people to be the foundering members of this organization that is missioned to serve transgender youth.

Quarks has the meaning of “This is our time.” But stepping into the transformative journey, every step is as difficult as a second adolescence. “Not every woman wears ponytail and dress to be a stereotypical female.” This is also the reason why Liam invited plus size model friend Lezlie (she/her) to host a make-up class. Lezlie has diagnosed depression due to anxiety from her body image, and finally she found beauty in herself. “Some participants think they are fat and bigger, not fitting the traditional definition of femininity. I want to share my own experience to resonate their anxieties from appearance and body, they are not alone.”

The program consisted of a total of six sessions, with transwoman guests featured in the first two sessions. From their previous self-discovering experience during gender transition, they well understood the anxiety came along with it. What touched Lezlie was that, “The participants formed their own make-up and styling group after the session, and they went shopping like sisters, sharing their own passion.” Although their gender transition walked at different paces, some go slow, some go fast, but when they were united, they had a shoulder to lean on.

In the last session, a team of professional photographers helped with their graduation photoshoot. That was the most touching scene for Liam, “Some participants used to be timid looking into the mirror, now they started to appreciate themselves, learning to show their prettiest side, and take more photos than before.”

The Transformation of Quarks

The transformation of transwomen will not be made possible solely on the course fees collected from the participants. “A lot of the participants are teenagers, joining professional and regular make-up and styling classes would be a big financial burden on them.”

Like start up organisations, applying for fund is not a piece of cake. “Submitting the letter of application, especially when there are errors or gaps in execution, other funds will probably not correct them, and reject the application straightaway.” Liam also worries that not too many funds will comprehend the needs of the transgender community, or even doubt the necessity of sponsoring the participants a full set of make-up products, or the purpose of professional photography services. In the transgender network, some recommended HER Fund to him.

“HER Fund is a fund that worth applying as they are very human-centered and can see beyond project feasibility or figures, they see the meanings behind.” Besides funding, Liam also received a lot of technical support. “When the class was at early stage, HER Fund already provided a lot of advice, and even more during and after the class. It is like the existence of a mother, as it calmed me and could be reachable whenever I was in need.”

The class was accomplished successfully, Quarks managed to grow from an organizational level, Liam and the members also participated enthusiastically in workshops hosted by HER Fund. “Afterall we are all amateur volunteers who are not skilled enough to deal with the clerical work. To walk further and serve more people with the aim of becoming an NGO, we have to build a robust foundation.”

What left the most impact was the Transformative Feminist Leadership(TFL). Liam said, “Different members must be holding different opinions. How do we communicate through differences? How do we mediate through disputes? How do we allocate power and authority? These were the topics that we earnestly engaged and faced after learning TFL. When the mediation failed, we could reach out to mentors of TFL for help. Our relationship with HER Fund exists like a longstanding community.”

Interviewed and written by Joan Yiu
Translated by Janie Chan